Editor’s Note: Anne is the host of The Backstory podcast, which highlights healthcare leaders who are as esteemed for their authenticity as they are for their success. This article features quotes from those conversations.
The Big Story: Oprah Winfrey Under Fire over Work-Life Balance Advice
“This is what I say to my girls, you know, graduating from college and starting their first jobs and they’re talking to me about, you know, work-life balance,” Winfrey said. “At this point, I go, ‘you ain’t had no work life balance at 22… It’s not there. You’re not supposed to have it. You’re supposed to lay it in. Lay in the work.'”
Frank Advice from the Healthcare C-suite
6-minute read
Work-life balance?
I’ll show my hand: I don’t believe in it.
Or, maybe more accurately, I don’t believe it’s the right framing for living a fulfilling life.
The concept of work-life balance is something we all struggle with. It’s a never-ending quest for perfect symmetry, with competing, often equally worthy priorities in a constant battle for our time and attention.
It’s even harder in healthcare because healthcare doesn’t sleep. Hospitals never close. Doctors are literally on call even when they aren’t working. The life-and-death dynamic of the industry doesn’t abide by any time clock.
“Balance is too much pressure, and I don’t think it’s possible,” said Lisa Shannon, CEO of Allina Health. “Yet, time is our currency.”
So, what’s the answer? You’ve heard Oprah’s lightning-rod point of view. Let’s hear from healthcare leaders.
The priority juggle
Over the past couple of years on The Backstory podcast (shameless plug), I’ve had the opportunity to talk with nearly 30 healthcare C-suite leaders – some of the highest achievers in their fields. We’ve talked about how they grew up, their career journey, people who influenced them, mistakes and lessons learned… and always this question: How do you juggle all the competing priorities and loves in your life?
While each guest has had a take on that question, the collective conclusion is this: Everyone’s trying to figure it out. Everyone screws it up. And perfect “work-life balance” may let you down – even if it is achievable.
Here’s more thinking from healthcare’s top brass on balance.
Keep your tank full.
A mentor once told me that your energy as a human is like a tank with spouts at the bottom that never turn off. Those spouts represent the various roles you play and the people who need you. Your job is to prioritize refilling the tank so you can pour into others. Only you can do this for yourself. So, what’s the right combination for you to be healthy in mind, body and spirit?
“So much of what I was trying to do was optimize for performance. And this became a lifelong history of drinking coffee in the morning to get revved and raring and to push myself throughout the day and then stay up as late as possible working and then, wake up the next day and do it again. It took a little bit of a transformation in my life to change that and realize that healthy behaviors are really important. It took a health crisis of sorts for me.”
— Tom Hale, CEO of ŌURA
“I’m a high introvert by nature, and I ‘extrovert’ all day long at work. If I don’t plug in and recharge, then I’m going to not be too good to anybody. [There was a time when] I went weeks without plugging in… I needed to recharge. One morning, I could not get out of bed, literally could not get out of the bed… I had completely burned out.”
— Rhonda Brandon, SVP and chief human resources officer of Duke Health
The struggle is real.
It’s ok to love your work. In fact, consider yourself lucky if you do. According to Pew Research, only about half of U.S. workers are extremely or very satisfied with their job overall. The more you love it, the harder it can be to turn it off.
“You’ve got to pour your heart and soul into things. You can be a family person and still be passionate about what you do. I’ll be honest, I don’t know that I’ve always found that ‘right balance’; it’s ebbed and flowed over the years. Sometimes I’m better than others.”
— Marty Bonick, former president and CEO of Ardent Health
It’s your job to draw the lines.
Never forget that work will take as much from you as you are willing to give. You have the agency to create your own guardrails, protecting your time in ways that align with your values and what matters most.
“If I wanted to go to three (work) events every day, every week of the year, I could do it. And I just choose not to. And the world goes on. Sometimes you have to make those choices. Be really disciplined in where you spend time and evaluating what’s most important.”
— Chris Roth, president and CEO of St. Luke’s Health System
“What is necessary is to be really clear about priorities and then to stick by it… The first vice president job I took, I had really young children and I was in the middle of my MBA. I took a risk and I said, ‘I want this job.” I can do this job, but here’s the deal: Most days I’m going to show up about 4:00 AM and leave at about 3:30 or 4:00 PM to get the kids what they need. Are you okay with that?’… My boss was very supportive, and we made it work.”
— Lisa Shannon, president and CEO of Allina Health
“Family’s important to me. I would say to anybody, ‘Family first.’ I’m not sure I was always living the way that I should, but I try to think about God, family and work – in that order.”
— Rob Allen, president and CEO of Intermountain Health
Remember, it’s just one life.
The human experience is a colorful tapestry – not two separate and distinct worlds.
“When people use the language of having work-life balance, it’s as if two elements of life must be uniquely separate and therefore must be balanced. I’ve come to learn the importance of having an integrated life where it’s all just one life… Weaving them together, I think, is really important.”
— David Jarrard, co-founder and executive chairman of Jarrard
“I tried very hard to shield my kids from [the struggles in starting and growing my business], and my wife said, ‘You have to let them see you struggle. You have to let them see you fail. You have to let them see your worry, your concern. Because if they grow up thinking life isn’t hard and life doesn’t have setbacks, and that anxiety isn’t okay, or the worrying isn’t okay, then the first time they experience that, they’re going to be unsettled. You have to be willing to share everything with them.’ It turned out to be so true and so valuable. When it came to the [highs and lows of work], they had a front row seat.”
— Ken Graboys, co-founder and CEO of Chartis
It takes a village.
Personally, I don’t know what I would do without my supportive husband, friends and family and my understanding kids at home. And at the same time, I wouldn’t survive the pace of my work without an incredible, highly capable team of partners and colleagues.
“It’s delicate when you’re trying to balance it all and drive a company forward. The biggest thing I’ve learned in leadership is you hire the A-team and then it takes some of the stress off, so I can be present for my kids and my family.”
— Chris Spencer, CEO of TeamQ
“The mom guilt is real. There is no way I’d be able to do it without my husband and other support of people who can drive the carpool and do things that I can’t do.”
— Sheri Shapiro, senior executive vice president and chief strategy officer of CommonSpirit Health
Remember who’s watching.
Leaders have added pressure to model the right prioritization and boundaries. At work, they are never not on stage – employees constantly watching the choices they make and interpreting them as permission. Conversely, what we choose to miss at home sends a powerful message to the ones we love.
“If I’m in the people business and we’re here caring for kids and families and I can’t take care of my own, then how am I going to be my best here? If I need to say, ‘Hey, I can’t go to that thing because it’s my daughter’s school play that night’ – then, it is what it is. And I think I’m giving permission to other people. If I’m doing that, it’s okay for you to do that.”
— Patrick Frias, M.D., president and CEO of Children’s Healthcare of Atlanta
Give yourself some grace and keep tweaking.
We all wear many hats. I’m a parent, wife, daughter, sister, friend, board chair, executive… It’s impossible to get it right every time. So, give yourself some grace, and be willing and self-aware enough to make tweaks along the way.
“I think when you quit worrying about it, that’s when you have a problem… As long as you keep thinking about it and focusing on it, that’s what’s most important.”
— Pete November, president and CEO of Ochsner Health
The upside of imbalance
Being out of balance can lead to spikes in growth.
“Balance” insinuates that the time you spend working vs. not working should be equal. But often, it’s in the out-of-balance seasons where you experience personal and professional breakthroughs.
It’s when you’ve taken on a massive project at work that stretches you. Or you’ve decided to push your physical limits to run a marathon. Or you slept very little to care for a loved one.
These are the uncomfortable seasons that make us smarter, stronger, more resilient, more connected. The operative word is, of course, “seasons”. If you’re over-indexed at work or at home for more than a season, it’s time to reassess and reprioritize. Maybe that’s what Oprah meant when she talked about paying your dues early in your career when your responsibilities outside of work are often lighter. It’s a season.
It’s your choice
There’s no secret to achieving the perfect balance in life.
But one thing’s certain: Every day we wake up is a new day to make good and different choices. Choices that reflect the priorities we cherish. Choices that give us the right fuel to be healthy and able to pour into others. Choices to admit when we screw up and to commit to try again. Choices to lead us to more integrated lives.
I’d love to hear your thoughts on the idea of balance and choices. Just don’t expect an immediate response. Because this week… I choose vacation.
Contributors: Emme Baxter and David Shifrin
Image Credit: Shannon Threadgill
